It was so passionate, exciting and mind-blowing at first; now your relationship just feels cold and dead. You can’t get answers because when you ask, your ex says they are confused and need space; that they want to be left alone.
“What happened?, Wasn’t it going well?, Do they still love me?, Should I give them space?”
I’ve seen this phenomenon thousands of times with coaching clients of mine. You are not alone and there is hope when your lover tells you they are confused about your relationship.
Here are some common questions I get:
Why is my ex saying they are confused? What does that mean?
Their mind is telling them you have memories and history together and that they want to be with you; but their feelings have changed. The “confusion stage” as I call it is when they need to take a step back and explore this sudden change of feelings and determine what it means.
During this period they will become erratic and unpredictable; they will say one thing one day, and then the opposite the next. Bear with them at this point, and dont react too strongly to anything they say because its largely based on passing emotions.
Heres the important part: even though you really, really want to — you cant help them speed up this process! You need to let their heart and mind synchronize.
Are me and my ex doomed to break up permanently?
In fact, if they are telling you they are confused it means that a part of them still wants to be with you. Believe me, when someone is 100% sure they want to break up, they’ll tell you. and they’ll become ice cold and emotionless. Your exes frequent emotional outburst are actually good thing because the opposite of love is not hate or anger, its apathy.
What should I do to get my ex back if they say they are confused?
My recommendation is to do 3 things:
First: you need to stop talking about their feelings and your relationship problems with them. Stop looking for validation and stop asking them to communicate and open up with you. They will tell you how they feel when they’re ready, but they cant right now because even they dont know. The harder you push, the more angry they will become and the more they will be able to justify breaking up with you because you dont “listen to them” or you “nag them”. Here’s how you need to look at this: you’re lucky you have an open communication line with your ex; many of my clients are look to simply get a response from their ex.
Second: Always stay upbeat, sweet and positive when communicating with your ex. Let them remember the positive aspects of the relationship and how compassionate you are. When you communicate with them I want you to remember how youre texts or phone calls were in the first month of dating and do that; be the person they fell in love with rather than a needy, persistent and pushy ex.
Third: Read my 4 steps to getting your ex back. These tips are essential to turning those basic text messages into attraction and love.
Highly recommended for when your ex says they are confused:
I would strongly encourage you to learn the 4 steps to reconnecting with an ex as this is a delicate and sensitive time in your relationship. I go into great detail about the 4 first moves to effectively reconnect with your ex and how to get a “second first date”. Check it out now.
Want me to help you one-on-one to help to get your ex back? Click here now for one-on-one coaching and get specialized and personal advice to help you understand exactly how to rejuvenate the love in your SPECIFIC situation in order to get your ex back.
Latest posts by Nathan Joseph, BA (Hons) (see all)
- Your Ex Says They Are Confused? – 3 Things You Need to Know - June 3, 2016
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- 8 Ways to Convince Your Ex to Come Back To You - February 13, 2014
- How To Get (and Keep) A Boyfriend: The 4 Absolutely Essential Traits - January 23, 2014
- Making Your Move On A Girl: 3 Unstoppable Techniques - January 23, 2014