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How To Get (and Keep) A Boyfriend: The 4 Absolutely Essential Traits

Important Concepts-  How To Get A Boyfriend

  • The three qualities that men look for most are:  1) Looks, 2) Stability and 3) Intelligence – in that order.
  • Men are initially attracted to looks, but fall in love with your personality – they fall in love with YOU.
  • Men are programmed to stick with women who would make good nurturers and mothers.
  • Men are programmed to run away from women who are: Dominant, Judgmental, Mentally Unstable, Overly Emotional, Controlling, Masculine, Promiscuous, Irresponsible or significantly below their social status. In short, stop being so dramatic, don’t be naggy and get your life in order. Be a cool girlfriend, but not a doormat.
  • Being overly sexual might get you noticed initially, but it wont get you a boyfriend. Keep it classy ladies – respect to get a boyfriend

In order to get a boyfriend you must understand how to do two things: 1) Attract and meet a guy, and then 2) keep him interested.

For the most part, guys will approach women they are attracted to, so as long as you are out in the world you will meet guys. (See my article Finding the One for the best tips on meeting people)

As for the things YOU can do today to improve the chances of a potential boyfriend approaching you…

“How To Get a Boyfriend – The 4 Essential Traits”

#4 – Enhance Your Looks –

— is a results oriented website – we deal with what works. This tip might seem shallow on its face, but I give my readers the best possible advice, without censor. The simple fact is if you improve your looks, you improve your chances of meeting guys. Period. This is not a moral debate about whether that is right or wrong. Nature, and specifically attraction, doesn’t operate on right or wrong it operates on what works and what survives.

Have you ever seen a photo of a supermodel without any makeup on? They aren’t very attractive. In fact, no one is attractive until they put in a little effort getting ready. Given that looks are the #1 thing a guys looks for initially, they simply can’t be overlooked. Fortunately, all it takes is a few small steps taken on daily basis to get your foot in the door:

  • Always be hygienic and well groomed: always have clean hair, teeth, skin, and clothes. Never stop doing these things, even if you marry the guy. This is just a matter of making the effort, everyday. Remember, the small details DO matter.
  • Health is hot: Evolution programs men to chase healthy, fertile women. Exploit this fact. Keep yourself in good physical shape. Exercise. Toned muscles on women are VERY attractive, particularly around the midsection.
  • Improve your wardrobe: If you want to get a boyfriend, you need to buy clothes to suit your body style. The ideal here is hot but not overly sexual. Always get a second opinion before you buy clothes or makeup. Keep your clothes classy but stylish, you want a guy to be attracted to you but also to respect you. Make sure you have the proper outfits for the proper occasions – don’t show up to a club in a track suit! etc.

#3- Show Stability

In order to know how to get a boyfriend you must first understand that while men pretend to like pretty, shallow girls with no substance – they are in fact looking for much, much more.

At the very core, attraction is driving men to find the most suitable mother for his children. Evolution has made it so stability is one of the most attractive traits a women can have because stability creates an environment where children are likely to survive. A mother who is going to take off, die, disappear, develop a drug habit, go bankrupt or pawn all your stuff is probably not going to stick be around to be a good mom. In short, guys are attracted to women who they can trust with their future children’s lives.

In order to emphasize this to a guy you need to make sure you aren’t engaging in crazy risky behavior, your finances are relativity stable, your mental health is fine, your dating life is not out of control, you can commit to a job and/or school and you have goals. I’m not saying be boring, I’m saying know the time and place for fun.

# 2- Emphasize your Nurturing/Compassionate Side

Think about a typical Hollywood action film; the hero gets bloodied and beaten trying to save the world from evil and an attractive women he barely knows cleans up his wounds, makes him dinner and gives him a sponge bath (and usually a little extra 😉 ). This is the fundamental core of attraction: A strong, compassionate man, fighting for his family – and a stable, reliable, nurturing woman to take care of them. This dynamic is sexy, it is the ultimate representation of polarized male and female attraction – and it sells movies. Although exaggerated, these gender roles do represent the basic attractive traits that we look for – making them a good reference point for the question of how to get a boyfriend.

This all comes back to evolution, compassionate and nurturing females are attractive because they demonstrate that they would take care of their families and that they won’t abandon them.

Ways you can emphasize this trait: Make sure you show compassion for animals. Try to improve the lives of others without judgement. Don’t be a bully. Always try to help those in need. In short, you need to honestly care about others, and show that with your actions.

If you take nothing away from this article, at least remember this: Act like a caring, responsible and compassionate mother would, and you will have no problem keeping men around.

How to get a boyfriend #1 rule: Sharpen Your Mind

This rule has two parts: Intelligence and Mental Strength, both of which are extremely attractive.

Intelligence: Intelligence is the #3 thing guys look for in a girlfriend. Non-intelligent women are embarrassing to bring into social settings and they probably won’t make a good mother –  I hope you now understand how this can kill attraction. Stay in school, learn, read, listen to others, experience life, create memories, open your mind up to the world. Put down the gossip mags, and pick up non-fiction book. Take classes. Master the hobbies you like.

When a guy is considering dating a girl, he will ask himself:  What does she add to my life? if you don’t know how to do anything, or can’t carry a conversation, he wont be interested. Make your life awesome, and offer to show him a whole new world.

Mental Strength: This ties in with stability. You need to learn to control your emotions and understand that they always pass and do not necessarily represent reality. You need to learn to suppress jealously, insecurity, neediness and anger. You need to be a master of your emotions and use them to guide your decision making but not control it. Overly emotional women are not attractive because they show that they have no self-control.

Just remember, when it comes to getting a boyfriend, self-control is everything.

Highly recommended:

This is only the tip of the iceberg! I would highly recommend that you get my FREE 4 step E-guide for making a quality man fall and stay in love with you. Check it out now!

Image:photostock, ref: Study, ScienceDaily

Want To Know The SINGLE BEST Secret I’ve Learned To Make Men Addicted to You?

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Nathan Joseph, BA (Hons)

Nathan Joseph is the founder and lead researcher at Get specific answers to your relationship questions from Nathan personally - sign up for One on One Coaching Now! Be friendly - add +Nathan to your Google+ circle.

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