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Ideas For A First Date – The 3 Most Important Factors

Important Concepts – Ideas For a First Date:

  • Your primary focus when planning a first date should be to make sure youre properly set-up to : Break comfort barriers, trigger attraction, have fun, and secure a second date.
  • The perfect length for a first date is an hour to an hour and a half.
  • The best idea for a first date is a cocktail lounge. Dates that involve physical activity, such as a mini putt, an arcade or rock climbing are also good. Whatever you decide, make sure it is casual, fun, and allows for conversation.
  • Avoid conversation limiting dates such as movie theaters, loud clubs or  double riding on your bicycle (yes, someone actually emailed me asking if that was a good date idea) Remember, you need to be able to talk, uninterrupted, on a first date. Talking builds comfort and trust – which in turn triggers attraction.
  • Laugh a lot. First dates should never be serious.
  • End the date when the activity ends, don’t drag it on. Allow your date some time to process the events of the date (1-2 days) before contacting them or talking about a second date. Don’t talk about future dates on the first date; don’t even talk about the second date on the first date. Enjoy the moment. Create suspense and anticipation. Make them wonder “Do they like me?”
  • Don’t talk about your feelings on a first date. Keep it light.

Ideas For A First Date – The Three Essentials:

There are three things you need to do plan the best possible  first date. These three things should be used as a guide when considering your ideas for a first date:

1) Pick a good location

 The activity or place you pick needs to be fun, not overly expensive, comfortable, and allow for conversation. And no, don’t just  “hang out” together – there needs to be some underlying activity to take the pressure off.

It is also better to pick something slightly formal (by this I mean don’t go to the local old man bar)  – this allows both people to dress-up without having to worry about being overdressed. The activity can also be slightly competitive, this allows for easy teasing and flirting BUT don’t make the activity too difficult or strenuous. No marathons or rugby matches!

Don’t do group dates – go just the two of you.

Avoid: Movies theaters, loud settings, being together without a purpose (sitting on a bench in the park etc.), uncomfortable situations (ie. Dinner at your parents) a neutral third-party location is key.

My recommendations in order of effectiveness, starting with the best: Getting a booth in a classy cocktail lounge, getting a coffee in an fancy coffee shop, (get a big coffee so you can drag out the date), going to an arcade, mini-putt, getting dessert at a high end dessert shop and lastly, dinner at a semi-classy restaurant.

2) Pick a good time 

It is a bad idea to make your first date a weekday lunch date.  Lunch dates give a off a business vibe. It is also not a good idea to give up your precious weekend nights for a first date. After all, your weekends are all already booked, right?

The perfect time for a first date is on a Sunday or Monday night in the evening – starting at 730-8 is perfect. Most places wont be busy, allowing for easier conversation and more privacy and this way you wont risk keeping your date up too late if they work the next day. Dating on a weeknight also shows high-status because you are only opening up traditionally non-important nights for your date.

Tip: Make sure you call ahead and see if  your date spot will be open!

3) End the date properly

Only plan to hang out for an hour to an hour and a half  – this is the perfect amount time for a first date. You can break through comfort barriers by flirting and touching,  start to build attraction by demonstrating attractive traits (see what attracts women, and for girls, how to get a boyfriend)…..AND leave just when they want more.

Always end the date after the initial planned activity. Don’t do a second activity.

Dont discuss the next date, leave it at : “I had fun, we’ll talk soon.” Smile when saying this, make it genuine.

Always end the date on a high-note – right when the tension and energy is at its peak.

I don’t recommend going for a kiss at the end of the first date –  its too predictable and boring. Either do it DURING the date or wait until date 2.

Break the touch barrier. A hug or an arm touch along with eye contact and a smile is fine.  Break out of the friend zone

Ref: Study, Singles Image: photostock

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Nathan Joseph, BA (Hons)

Nathan Joseph is the founder and lead researcher at Get specific answers to your relationship questions from Nathan personally - sign up for One on One Coaching Now! Be friendly - add +Nathan to your Google+ circle.

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